For awhile now, I’ve watched a number of the videos people have been making and posting for the It Gets Better campaign to discourage suicide among LGBTQ youth. The better angels of my nature tell me there’s hope for the world because of such kindness and outreach.
You see, when I was struggling to deal with my sexuality and the big secret it was in my teenage years, there were none of the resources available today. No Internet to provide access to any helpful information, much less a wave of videos telling kids to hang out.
In moments like those, I feel an urge to contribute to that effort by making a video of my own. I’ve even tried a time or two to organize some thoughts for what I might say. Shortly after that, I stop working on it. I abandon the effort. Why? Because of a conviction that’s so strong it keeps me from continuing.
I can’t make one of those “it gets better” videos for one simple reason. I can’t make myself write the words, much less speak them into a camera, when down deep one message drowns out the whole idea.
It’s a lie.