Category Archives: being gay

Parents: Give Your Gay Sons Bassoon Lessons

Dear Parents of Young Gay Boys,

It’s been genuinely heartwarming to read the stories I see on the Huffington Post from time to time in which you share the experience of embracing and supporting your gay sons. It’s been absolutely mind blowing to read that some of your sons have been able to comfortably identify as gay and share that with you at ages like 8 or 10 or 12. You’ve clearly created a home that is so plainly welcoming and accepting in the eyes of your gay son that he feels no risk or threat in coming out to you. It’s not like that in many, many families.

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It Gets Better…Or Not

For awhile now, I’ve watched a number of the videos people have been making and posting for the It Gets Better campaign to discourage suicide among LGBTQ youth. The better angels of my nature tell me there’s hope for the world because of such kindness and outreach.

You see, when I was struggling to deal with my sexuality and the big secret it was in my teenage years, there were none of the resources available today. No Internet to provide access to any helpful information, much less a wave of videos telling kids to hang out.

In moments like those, I feel an urge to contribute to that effort by making a video of my own. I’ve even tried a time or two to organize some thoughts for what I might say. Shortly after that, I stop working on it. I abandon the effort. Why? Because of a conviction that’s so strong it keeps me from continuing.

I can’t make one of those “it gets better” videos for one simple reason. I can’t make myself write the words, much less speak them into a camera, when down deep one message drowns out the whole idea.

It’s a lie.

Continue reading It Gets Better…Or Not